Saturday, January 19, 2013
taking courage by the neck.
I was made to be a pregnant woman.
I sat in the bath today contemplating the joy that comes from being pregnant. To myself I said 'I want to be pregnant all the time!'..that is..without the 1st trimester. I have already forgotten the sickness and tears that came with that dreaded trimester. I didn't know what I was getting myself into though. I feel great now. I am one happy prego lady. Usually.
Today Nat and I were thinking about our baby. She has been kicking a lot. I usually laugh and say, 'baby n. is kicking!'..then Nat tries to feel. Sometimes he does. Having Baby in my womb is seriously the coolest most delightful thing I have ever done in my entire life. Babies are a gift.
Which made me think.
I did not know what I was missing. Pregnancy is such a gift. A beautiful 'this is something I long for' gift. You don't know that though, until you feel a living soul turn inside you. I used to be one vain woman before baby n. was conceived. Every once in a while I fall into my old patterns of self and mirrors, but things have changed now. Now that a living child is in me growing, my thoughts are directed towards her. Her care. What she needs. What kind of mother I am going to be. Nutrition. Exercise(which needs to be a more active word in my vocabulary). My relationship with my husband. My relationship with my God. It is beautiful. Solomon was right when he said vanity was vain, or something along those lines. I didn't know I could care so much. Having a baby in my womb is also helping me to love my husband better. To forgive faster. To rejoice more. To be encouraging. To enhance his life with my life. It is delightful what a child brings into your life before she is even born. I love my husband more every single day. We are so happy to be able to bring this soul into the world. All of this being said, dear women, do not be afraid to have children. You will be blessed beyond measure. I feel like God has just been dripping His grace down on us like honey. We are so filled and warmed and satisfied.
It is a sad lie that we convince ourselves of, that children will somehow disable us from living a full life.
Some of my friends would prefer to have children later on in their marriages. This is neither wrong nor ridiculous. Some couples should wait to have children. Enjoy each other. Rejoice in the wife of your youth! Travel. Make love! Have fun. Don't let fear stop you from having children though. Children are an intense blessing.
I am very much looking forward to a house full of lovely faces that bear my husbands rugged features and dazzling eyes. As long as all the girls get my nose.